Ok so I'm wrapping up my time here in the states which means I am taking care of business. This includes the dermatologist, the dentist, gyn the whole works. So i have to have this mole removed on my left boob and this happened today.
I'm not at all new to this procedure as, if you were ever to see me, you would see that my fair complextion is very friendly with skin cancer and the like. They are best friends actually. So sitting in the chair, gown on, and 1 of the two assistants comes in to set it up. I'm watching her lay out the setup. She has no gloves on. She opens each piece of equipment in the usual sterile fasion, only touching the edges of the wrapping and letting it drop down on the tray. Then after she drops each piece of equipment, she then takes her BARE hands and lines them all up. haha. so just to be clear, she completely touched each sterile piece of equipment with her bare hands thus removing any "sterile" properties they had.
I normally sit and do nothing but this time I asked the second assistant if she was "new". haha. my friend says that was ballsy. was it? I just thought maybe no one taught her properly. But the 2nd assistant said "she's off today, sorry".
No biggie, I love extra germs. Thanks for comin....
Monday, August 27, 2007
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Poor bastards
You know how sometimes people say that, in this GIANT New York city, it is so easy to feel completely and utterly "alone"? Well, as of lately, I totally understand what those poor bastards feel like. Its TRUE. yes. me. with all my friends and all my imagination, I feel empty.
You know the empty like when your nephew takes a kitchen fork and attempts to hollow out a huge pumpkin but he ends up piercing that orange biotch into a million little indentions and carvings. sure it looks nice with the lit candle inside but he's left so much pumpkin residue that now its caught fire and you are lucky he didn't kill little suzy the pet tortoise who thought it was dinner.
Mostly I just sit around the apartment moving from space to space as if its a 4 bedroom duplex and pretend im in a completely different part of my studio even though I can literally reach with the length of one arm into the previously occupied space. I watch a lot of movies, go online in search of something i cant pinpoint exactly (a man? a new website on paris? an email from someone suprising? a new person to chat with?) and then when none of that comes true, i walk away, sleep, drink, strange part is, i never spend any time looking out the window. in fact, they are completely covered most of the time by my curtains. theres not a whole lot to look at honestly.
i told brian, at my local bar, tonight i was "bored". he always wants to know whats going on and i guess he expects me to come in and start telling him exciting stories but i kinda shocked him. he asked why and honestly, i felt like the music stopped and everyone got quiet for a moment. I had essentially no response. I rattled something about being in limbo but I didn't expect to have to fend for my declaration.
Anyway, I want to sign the papers, I want whats not real to be real. I need this clarification. It prolly wont change much accept maybe I'll sleep more. My dreams are getting out of control. I had the spider one again.
The im totally awake one. I woke up at 12:30 (thinking its more like 3:30) and I'd been to bed MAYBE 15 minutes, into some insane dream and i jumped up, looked back at my pillow and this time the spider was crawling over it. I could see it. I saw it. I swear. But after a moment, I looked and couldnt find it. Then of course I couldnt get back to sleep cause I feared the spider would be lingering around. This is the third spider dream.
or spider awakening. not sure what to call it. but its number three and im countin.
tonight i got a massage. 10 of the quickest moments in the history of the world. dammit. But it was sure nice to be touched by a strong handsome asian immigrant. He didn't do it tonight but he sure knows about massaging the head like nobodys business.
You know the empty like when your nephew takes a kitchen fork and attempts to hollow out a huge pumpkin but he ends up piercing that orange biotch into a million little indentions and carvings. sure it looks nice with the lit candle inside but he's left so much pumpkin residue that now its caught fire and you are lucky he didn't kill little suzy the pet tortoise who thought it was dinner.
Mostly I just sit around the apartment moving from space to space as if its a 4 bedroom duplex and pretend im in a completely different part of my studio even though I can literally reach with the length of one arm into the previously occupied space. I watch a lot of movies, go online in search of something i cant pinpoint exactly (a man? a new website on paris? an email from someone suprising? a new person to chat with?) and then when none of that comes true, i walk away, sleep, drink, strange part is, i never spend any time looking out the window. in fact, they are completely covered most of the time by my curtains. theres not a whole lot to look at honestly.
i told brian, at my local bar, tonight i was "bored". he always wants to know whats going on and i guess he expects me to come in and start telling him exciting stories but i kinda shocked him. he asked why and honestly, i felt like the music stopped and everyone got quiet for a moment. I had essentially no response. I rattled something about being in limbo but I didn't expect to have to fend for my declaration.
Anyway, I want to sign the papers, I want whats not real to be real. I need this clarification. It prolly wont change much accept maybe I'll sleep more. My dreams are getting out of control. I had the spider one again.
The im totally awake one. I woke up at 12:30 (thinking its more like 3:30) and I'd been to bed MAYBE 15 minutes, into some insane dream and i jumped up, looked back at my pillow and this time the spider was crawling over it. I could see it. I saw it. I swear. But after a moment, I looked and couldnt find it. Then of course I couldnt get back to sleep cause I feared the spider would be lingering around. This is the third spider dream.
or spider awakening. not sure what to call it. but its number three and im countin.
tonight i got a massage. 10 of the quickest moments in the history of the world. dammit. But it was sure nice to be touched by a strong handsome asian immigrant. He didn't do it tonight but he sure knows about massaging the head like nobodys business.
Monday, August 20, 2007
we are all out of crazy
ok ok. so im done with Americans in Paris. This latest email was the kicker. It was all I needed to close up shop. Yes, sure, it was entertaining for a while, but now its just plain boring and old. lol.
from a 57 year old japanese man:
I am interested in you very much; if can do it, want to associate seriously. It is that it is it to the life partner who spends the future life together after having repeated the exchange of the email in this way when I was able to really trust encounter, each other that I expect from you.
I recognize that we have a big age difference, but surely challenge it to have you forgive it. Can you have interest toward a Japanese man of the age like me? I am born and raised in Tokyo and I live in Tokyo now and work in the company of Tokyo. My work is left a distribution section to in a company handling an outfitting accessory in Tokyo and works as people in charge such as merchandise management and the management of the entrance and exit load. As for me, there is never yet the experience that married to appear; want to do it, and the child is not, too.
Hirohumi Ikeda
******************
and, again, what is MOST shocking here, is not his age or his trial version of english, but YES....he's being IN JAPAN and not at all an American and not at all in Paris. KILLS ME!
just kills me. i wont even show you his picture. i cant, its too mean.
from a 57 year old japanese man:
I am interested in you very much; if can do it, want to associate seriously. It is that it is it to the life partner who spends the future life together after having repeated the exchange of the email in this way when I was able to really trust encounter, each other that I expect from you.
I recognize that we have a big age difference, but surely challenge it to have you forgive it. Can you have interest toward a Japanese man of the age like me? I am born and raised in Tokyo and I live in Tokyo now and work in the company of Tokyo. My work is left a distribution section to in a company handling an outfitting accessory in Tokyo and works as people in charge such as merchandise management and the management of the entrance and exit load. As for me, there is never yet the experience that married to appear; want to do it, and the child is not, too.
Hirohumi Ikeda
******************
and, again, what is MOST shocking here, is not his age or his trial version of english, but YES....he's being IN JAPAN and not at all an American and not at all in Paris. KILLS ME!
just kills me. i wont even show you his picture. i cant, its too mean.
Friday, August 17, 2007
Americans in Paris
Well this personals site has gone from ridiculous to full blown entertainment. I have now recieved 23 "smiles" from men that are, essentially, not american and no where near France. Two of them are in France actually but just to give you folks an idea, I am inserting a Pie Chart breakdown of their country of origin and I assure you, most of these men are the nationality of their country and in most cases, speak only the native language (not french). Haha. How they got on this site is totally beyond me. Am I missing something here?
And just to be completely and utterly nit picky. I am including another chart which breaks down their ages.
Average Age 36.9
Min 20
Max 58
Ok ok, so no ones 80 (as i said in a previous post) but it still boggles me who on earth these men are and why are they interested in someone whose on the other side of the earth. and I HAVE dated a total wacko 52 year old who acted more like a 12 year old.
Here is the raw data in case you are a statistician and need to see it:
man country age
adrian_baker200 england 43
murphy4GOD china 28
enjoy26u france 47
benlife us 32
ranaimran pakistan 29
dreamingmale japan 58
iskalix france 34
poco japan 49
turtles italy 39
sushi711 japan 33
jayishere germany 41
rustymott australia 40
orangevale japan 37
nonokichi japan 42
worldspy us 37
mrdaviled china 20
chan88 indonesia 40
sagamimi102901 japan 43
dolphinw japan 44
yuki_060 china 27
yannyow taiwan 27
brown22 japan 27
rmoazami iran 32
So there you go. And in conclusion, I propose an entire rewrite of the Americans in Paris website and personals section. Please have your proposals ready by monday and fax 5 copies to 1-800-URNOTREAL
And just to be completely and utterly nit picky. I am including another chart which breaks down their ages.
Average Age 36.9
Min 20
Max 58
Ok ok, so no ones 80 (as i said in a previous post) but it still boggles me who on earth these men are and why are they interested in someone whose on the other side of the earth. and I HAVE dated a total wacko 52 year old who acted more like a 12 year old.
Here is the raw data in case you are a statistician and need to see it:
man country age
adrian_baker200 england 43
murphy4GOD china 28
enjoy26u france 47
benlife us 32
ranaimran pakistan 29
dreamingmale japan 58
iskalix france 34
poco japan 49
turtles italy 39
sushi711 japan 33
jayishere germany 41
rustymott australia 40
orangevale japan 37
nonokichi japan 42
worldspy us 37
mrdaviled china 20
chan88 indonesia 40
sagamimi102901 japan 43
dolphinw japan 44
yuki_060 china 27
yannyow taiwan 27
brown22 japan 27
rmoazami iran 32
So there you go. And in conclusion, I propose an entire rewrite of the Americans in Paris website and personals section. Please have your proposals ready by monday and fax 5 copies to 1-800-URNOTREAL
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Prepping
Like any good woman about the leave her motherland, I have been researching life in Paris from A to Z. Somehow or other I came across this site www.americansinfrance.com and somehow or other I, curiously, clicked on the "personals" link and you will NEVER guess what i found. Its complete ridiculousness.
Firstly, I ASSUMED that it would be filled with billions of expat men of all ages looking for other american expats to hang with/chill/date/etc. but BOY was I dead wrong. Yes, there are lots of men, but maybe 10% actually live france, much less in Europe. These dudes live everywhere! and a MAJOR portion of them are white guys looking for asian women. And tons and TONS of asian men looking for white women. And like any good dating site, no one pays attention to your age range (my cap is at 40) and 80 year olds are writing me.
Well I was almost so fed up with the entire thing but then decided that, since im not gettin any and basically not dating at all, seeing how this unfolds will provide some entertainment for me and I have kept up my profile. Here is my latest favorite "email" from someone named Murphy4GOD:
Sender: murphy4God
Subject: hi pretty
Date Received: 2007/08/16 01:08
Hello sexy, you won't believe that i have been looking up your profile for more than minutes now, i have watched your photos over anbd over again, i could not take a step to another profile, i deemed it necessary to let you know that you caught my attentions, nothing would be more fufilling to me than to meet an Angel living in another part of this world like you, i could say more to describe you oustanding beauty, but that would mean flattering you with words, and that does not go down too well with me as i believe in actions to prove my worth..lol, i really would love to meet you.that is more important to me now.hope you reciprocate my mail.read from you soon.julian
And another email I recieved was signed "Love". I am wondering if Americans aren't so forward afterall. Maybe we are subdued compared to these outerwordly dudes. Or maybe I have stumbled on the worlds dumbest dating site. There's a guy in Baltimore who "smiled" at me the other day. A guy from Thailand the day before. I dont understand how these people ended up on Americans In France. They dont seem to have anything to do with France at all. It simply makes zero sense, which is, incidentally, what is also intriguing to me. So I pounce on, if anything, to have a good laugh.
Anyway, I'm getting prepared to make the transition to my new "Paris" blog. I will announce the site and get it all prepped once the contract is signed. Should be a in a week or so.
Stay tuned.
INez!
Firstly, I ASSUMED that it would be filled with billions of expat men of all ages looking for other american expats to hang with/chill/date/etc. but BOY was I dead wrong. Yes, there are lots of men, but maybe 10% actually live france, much less in Europe. These dudes live everywhere! and a MAJOR portion of them are white guys looking for asian women. And tons and TONS of asian men looking for white women. And like any good dating site, no one pays attention to your age range (my cap is at 40) and 80 year olds are writing me.
Well I was almost so fed up with the entire thing but then decided that, since im not gettin any and basically not dating at all, seeing how this unfolds will provide some entertainment for me and I have kept up my profile. Here is my latest favorite "email" from someone named Murphy4GOD:
Sender: murphy4God
Subject: hi pretty
Date Received: 2007/08/16 01:08
Hello sexy, you won't believe that i have been looking up your profile for more than minutes now, i have watched your photos over anbd over again, i could not take a step to another profile, i deemed it necessary to let you know that you caught my attentions, nothing would be more fufilling to me than to meet an Angel living in another part of this world like you, i could say more to describe you oustanding beauty, but that would mean flattering you with words, and that does not go down too well with me as i believe in actions to prove my worth..lol, i really would love to meet you.that is more important to me now.hope you reciprocate my mail.read from you soon.julian
And another email I recieved was signed "Love". I am wondering if Americans aren't so forward afterall. Maybe we are subdued compared to these outerwordly dudes. Or maybe I have stumbled on the worlds dumbest dating site. There's a guy in Baltimore who "smiled" at me the other day. A guy from Thailand the day before. I dont understand how these people ended up on Americans In France. They dont seem to have anything to do with France at all. It simply makes zero sense, which is, incidentally, what is also intriguing to me. So I pounce on, if anything, to have a good laugh.
Anyway, I'm getting prepared to make the transition to my new "Paris" blog. I will announce the site and get it all prepped once the contract is signed. Should be a in a week or so.
Stay tuned.
INez!
Monday, August 13, 2007
Decisions
Yesterday I smiled at a cute guy who was smoking on the steps while I was walking to burritoville. He was gone by the time I passed by again walking home.
That is the extent of my male relationships at this time. And for all the main reasons:
1. moving to france
2. no good men left
3. stopped caring
but of course the first reason is the most important. so now I sit here with a new email in my inbox which is the last and final proposal from france and they are over there awaiting decision. so I must make this decision. and that is honestly, what is on my mind lately.
That is the extent of my male relationships at this time. And for all the main reasons:
1. moving to france
2. no good men left
3. stopped caring
but of course the first reason is the most important. so now I sit here with a new email in my inbox which is the last and final proposal from france and they are over there awaiting decision. so I must make this decision. and that is honestly, what is on my mind lately.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
what in the hell is wrong with men
Call it what you want, but I simply need to slow down with men and THAT MEANS, yes, brace yourself, cause I know what I'm about to say may be shocking to most, but my plan/goal is to really get to know the next man BEFORE getting physical.
What does that even mean? Well it means, simply, that no man will see my naked body unless they
a. can name my favorite movie
b. list the 8 bordering countries to turkey
c. describe all the members of my immediate family
d. agree to get a brand new set of all STD tests and actually show me the report
e. laugh in the right places
f. meet my selected special group of friends
g. prove that they are not completely and utterly normal in the regular sense of the word
YES. i KNOW this may seem abnormal to most of you. but you must at least pretend to understand that I simply refuse to go through all the bullshit again. YEs, sex is just wonderful to get but it aint worth the hellish pain that I have been through. and I know I'm being vague but frankly, that aint none of your bizness.
But on a more serious note: what is SOOO important about rushing into meeting someone. do we all think the clock is ticking? are we in SUCH a hurry to "seal the deal" because we think its our only chance? Honestly, there are sooooo many ways and means with which to seal the deal out there and especially in nyc. So why oh why are we in such a hurry.
I'm totally built in a different way. I think sometimes I must be living in the wrong time period.
Sometimes when I'm bored at work I walk around and talk to (or annoy) all my coworkers. Theres one in particular who is always good for bullshitting. And the other day I'm looking over his shoulder at his "buddy" list scrutinizing everyone on it. I come to this one guy, lets call him sheepshead, and i ask all about him. he's my age exactly and so ok, i grab my coworkers keyboard and start typing to him as if. 95% out of boredom and 5% out of curiosity.
nothing. so then, and admittedly stupid, i add him to MY OWN buddy list. he see this a few days later and late on the following saturday he writes me. i tell him straight up who i am, that i was bored and thats why i added him, that im NOT looking to date anyone but im happy to chat with him, etc etc.
so we continue chatting and getting to know eachother (which incidentally was my plan in effect) and then he starts up with all this sex talk and i realize almost immediately he's a big ass and i would never date him even if i wanted to. but since i made that clear i kept chatting but not at all indulging him in his crap. i kept it clean. anyway, he wanted a photo
no
he wanted me to call him,
no
then he went on and on about how im playing games and i am hiding behind some fear, etc etc. and now he refuses to speak to me. he says the only way he will communicate is if i call. lol.
that is, mind you, after less than 24 HOURS of even knowing him. he's ready to call and meet and sex. and im not even gonnna get into the fact that he's an out of work illegal alien because I was stopped at personality alone. And so my boredom and thirst for human contact has once again led me astray.
the same thing happened when my life fell apart and i was in a online support group looking for some help. i happened to speak to a guy who lives in this city with a similar problem and he has ceased all communication with me simply because I refused to meet him. It was a support group, not a fucking dating group. i needed someone to talk to, i thought this was clear but anyway, you see my frustration.
hopefully, or maybe you TOO think im playing some game? do you? Well I'm hardfast with this new set of rules. I really cannot go through bullshit again. and i aint talking just about a broken heart here, im talking about hard core physical pain. So if a guy isn't willing to go at my speed then why bother.
that is exactly how i feel. no games
no bullshit
just the way it is
What does that even mean? Well it means, simply, that no man will see my naked body unless they
a. can name my favorite movie
b. list the 8 bordering countries to turkey
c. describe all the members of my immediate family
d. agree to get a brand new set of all STD tests and actually show me the report
e. laugh in the right places
f. meet my selected special group of friends
g. prove that they are not completely and utterly normal in the regular sense of the word
YES. i KNOW this may seem abnormal to most of you. but you must at least pretend to understand that I simply refuse to go through all the bullshit again. YEs, sex is just wonderful to get but it aint worth the hellish pain that I have been through. and I know I'm being vague but frankly, that aint none of your bizness.
But on a more serious note: what is SOOO important about rushing into meeting someone. do we all think the clock is ticking? are we in SUCH a hurry to "seal the deal" because we think its our only chance? Honestly, there are sooooo many ways and means with which to seal the deal out there and especially in nyc. So why oh why are we in such a hurry.
I'm totally built in a different way. I think sometimes I must be living in the wrong time period.
Sometimes when I'm bored at work I walk around and talk to (or annoy) all my coworkers. Theres one in particular who is always good for bullshitting. And the other day I'm looking over his shoulder at his "buddy" list scrutinizing everyone on it. I come to this one guy, lets call him sheepshead, and i ask all about him. he's my age exactly and so ok, i grab my coworkers keyboard and start typing to him as if. 95% out of boredom and 5% out of curiosity.
nothing. so then, and admittedly stupid, i add him to MY OWN buddy list. he see this a few days later and late on the following saturday he writes me. i tell him straight up who i am, that i was bored and thats why i added him, that im NOT looking to date anyone but im happy to chat with him, etc etc.
so we continue chatting and getting to know eachother (which incidentally was my plan in effect) and then he starts up with all this sex talk and i realize almost immediately he's a big ass and i would never date him even if i wanted to. but since i made that clear i kept chatting but not at all indulging him in his crap. i kept it clean. anyway, he wanted a photo
no
he wanted me to call him,
no
then he went on and on about how im playing games and i am hiding behind some fear, etc etc. and now he refuses to speak to me. he says the only way he will communicate is if i call. lol.
that is, mind you, after less than 24 HOURS of even knowing him. he's ready to call and meet and sex. and im not even gonnna get into the fact that he's an out of work illegal alien because I was stopped at personality alone. And so my boredom and thirst for human contact has once again led me astray.
the same thing happened when my life fell apart and i was in a online support group looking for some help. i happened to speak to a guy who lives in this city with a similar problem and he has ceased all communication with me simply because I refused to meet him. It was a support group, not a fucking dating group. i needed someone to talk to, i thought this was clear but anyway, you see my frustration.
hopefully, or maybe you TOO think im playing some game? do you? Well I'm hardfast with this new set of rules. I really cannot go through bullshit again. and i aint talking just about a broken heart here, im talking about hard core physical pain. So if a guy isn't willing to go at my speed then why bother.
that is exactly how i feel. no games
no bullshit
just the way it is
Monday, June 11, 2007
back from whereever
Likely against my better judgment, I just feel like blogging. I haven't been dating but not shockingly, there is always some crap with men going on. The last guy I was seeing fizzled out. And again, without any type of explanation.
I have wasted time wondering why, making assumptions, all that. And for what? I dont feel any better now. I have no resolution. I feel angry most of the time but I also hope it will pass.
Post him, I decided to take a very long break. I haven't been feeling well and I just dont think its a good idea to date anyone. I did, however, start talking with what I hoped would be a friend in this chat room online (not a dating site). I was there becaues I was depressed and hoped to talk it out with someone else. I guess we sort of enjoyed chatting with eachother. But soon after our chats, he made it clear that he was looking for someone, not just a friend, but more. I made it clear I was not. And then for some reason, we kept chatting. Mainly cause I enjoyed it and I guess so did he.
On some level I thought he understood I wanted to be just friends but based on his wanting to know what I looked like and what color my eyes were and all that physical stuff, I realized that he was hoping for more than friends. And maybe he thought i was as well. The problem was, I was selfish. I kept talkin to him because it made me feel better to have this friend (be it: virtual). I even indulged him on his physical questions for fear he would stop talking to me if I didnt.
This was my mistake. And it confused him of course.
So when he wanted to finally meet up in person, I declined and he was even more confused. We stopped talking on sunday.
The main thing I've noticed about myself is that in order to stop thinking about one guy I replaced him with another. I didn't intentially do this but I noticed talkin to the guy online did distract me from thinking about the other guy.
And I didn't intentionally mean to confuse or upset the online guy. I have got to stop talking to guys in general. I just need a break from men altogether until I can sort myself out.
I have wasted time wondering why, making assumptions, all that. And for what? I dont feel any better now. I have no resolution. I feel angry most of the time but I also hope it will pass.
Post him, I decided to take a very long break. I haven't been feeling well and I just dont think its a good idea to date anyone. I did, however, start talking with what I hoped would be a friend in this chat room online (not a dating site). I was there becaues I was depressed and hoped to talk it out with someone else. I guess we sort of enjoyed chatting with eachother. But soon after our chats, he made it clear that he was looking for someone, not just a friend, but more. I made it clear I was not. And then for some reason, we kept chatting. Mainly cause I enjoyed it and I guess so did he.
On some level I thought he understood I wanted to be just friends but based on his wanting to know what I looked like and what color my eyes were and all that physical stuff, I realized that he was hoping for more than friends. And maybe he thought i was as well. The problem was, I was selfish. I kept talkin to him because it made me feel better to have this friend (be it: virtual). I even indulged him on his physical questions for fear he would stop talking to me if I didnt.
This was my mistake. And it confused him of course.
So when he wanted to finally meet up in person, I declined and he was even more confused. We stopped talking on sunday.
The main thing I've noticed about myself is that in order to stop thinking about one guy I replaced him with another. I didn't intentially do this but I noticed talkin to the guy online did distract me from thinking about the other guy.
And I didn't intentionally mean to confuse or upset the online guy. I have got to stop talking to guys in general. I just need a break from men altogether until I can sort myself out.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
Monday, April 09, 2007
taking the long way home
saturday nite i had a date with the sexy older man.
we sat at the trailer bar of trailer park and he told me almost everything. he was so open. i was myself which means he knows almost everything about me too. i told him about my total spine. he told me he wrote some screen plays. i later emailed him a picture (of my spine) and heres his response:
Inez,
Suddenly I feel like I know even more about you. About what you are really like on the inside..
It is amazing!
S.O.M.
Enough to make me want to see him again. i love that feeling where you hardly know someone yet you feel like you've known them forever. i know these feelings are like that HIV/AIDS commercial with the pink balloons. they look so pretty for a second, then they all pop. love being fleeting. get tested. well sure. why not but the message is clear. so this feeling i feel. i am really enjoying it.
we sat at the trailer bar of trailer park and he told me almost everything. he was so open. i was myself which means he knows almost everything about me too. i told him about my total spine. he told me he wrote some screen plays. i later emailed him a picture (of my spine) and heres his response:
Inez,
Suddenly I feel like I know even more about you. About what you are really like on the inside..
It is amazing!
S.O.M.
Enough to make me want to see him again. i love that feeling where you hardly know someone yet you feel like you've known them forever. i know these feelings are like that HIV/AIDS commercial with the pink balloons. they look so pretty for a second, then they all pop. love being fleeting. get tested. well sure. why not but the message is clear. so this feeling i feel. i am really enjoying it.
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