Kiss Me Badly

ok so last night. we all know i had a date with a non nerve guy. he is a work friends friend. yes. a YOUNG 29 year old (almost 30) hedge fund guy who turned out to be SO MUCH MORE during the date.


so i walk into this joint where im meeting him early and assume that he will be late or is not there, i chat it up with the 3 hostesses whilst scouting around for potentially him. theres a bar to my left and sofas to my right...i head for the bathroom eyes still searching...nothing. the bathroom was supposed to allow me to check the nose for snot and any other facial problems but it was too damn dark and useless so i go back upstairs and head for the sofas. in the corner sofa i spot a cutish guy alone on the sofa and think to myself (damn cute guy but where is the one im meeting). I also notice he looks up at me or beyond me or whatever. And I begin to walk toward him and aim for this big black leather chair. As I pass this column I notice in the corner of my eye that this cutish guy is now starring at me and I'm feeling shy....then STUPID!! ITS HIM!!!! for christs sake its totally him...

haha

he's been there, he already had a beer. He spotted me and was trying to make eye contact. I feel so silly. Ok so I shake his hand and rush around the sofa to sit down. He's cute. seems tall. I'm looking him dead in the eye but my peripheral vision is on point tonight and I spot his left hand shaking. I immediately think he's nervous as hell and wonder why. With all the email confidence, maybe that was just email and in person he's a nervous wreck but somehow seeing that calmed me down and I didn't feel so nervous all of a sudden. So we chatted, he tried to explain hedge funds, I got lost and didn't get it at all and my mouth just turned into a jellyfish. I could no longer make complete sentences, remember what mutual funds i had or even my name. He picks up his beer with the right hand and thats shaking too. I guess I didn't know how nervous a man could get.

His voice was cracking too. CRACKING!!

Ok so we chatted more, then he mumbled something and got up and walked away. I assumed he went to the bathroom. lol. When he came back he sat closer to me. Then the pizza came and i got up to use the bathroom before eating. We ate and then with my leg, my bag in between me and him he leans in allll the way and plants a kiss on me!!!!

SHOCKING!!! i mean seriously. we JUST met and it wasnt the end of the date, it was the middle. It threw me off. Jellyfish were flying out of my mouth at this point. I messed up his college with another rival college, I told him im either crazy hyper or totally comatose with no inbetween, after family talk i admitted to a jailbird brother, my crazy blog, dating, art I cant draw...jesus i was jellyfishing like a FOOL! but somewhere in that mess he looked right at me and said I was funny. That was cute.

So the problem is that he cant kiss. I just wasnt sure why. And the jelly then dropped out of my mouth when I noticed him trembling while kissing me and whispered that he shouldnt be nervous which then prompted him to tell me his shaking was a serious neurological problem!!!!

There was a point where I could not say anymore and in those moments the kissing continued. I guess I was hoping he could improve and yet with each kiss it didnt.

So what I know. so he cant kiss. is that so bad? no, i dont think so. I dont know actually is it? of the people I have polled at work so far, some say this will never change. he will always be a bad kisser, and others say i can teach him.
I dont know. as far as i see it, two questions remain:

1. does bad kissing count as a deal breaker?
2. does bad kissing mean bad in other areas?

ok so now lets talk about the positive. this guy is FUCKING AWESOME!!!! i mean seriously, he's got morals values he's not a pothead and he fucking genuinly cares about people. but he's edgy too and confident and even likes old people. and ART! he's beyond smart about stuff but seriously does not come across that way. i mean he doesnt come across dumb but not cocky you know. (ps, this is the type of jellyfish rambling i got myself into with him last night)

ok anyway. if it doesnt work out with hedgefund, I still have some banter accumulating with this one nerve guy I really think is cool. However, I struggled to get him to actually ask me out. Short little emails about him being sick and his job and whatever was goin on with me were a flyin and I just couldnt take it and stopped emailing. then two days go by and he surfaces to ask if his emails had once again fell into my spam folder. Which they hadn't, so i responded boldly:

"actually i was waiting for you to ask me out!! lol. ;)"

ok so apparently just MILKING this sickness of his, he comes back:

"I will, just as soon as I regain my breathing capabilities :)"

oye vey, then me:

"Wow, who would have thought I could take your breath away virtually! :)

(kidding of course)

are you going away for the holidays?"

now the third line was my (failed) way of trying to increase commication or get a dialogue of some sort that we had before...

him:

"Don't know yet. There is no warrant pending for me as far as I know, so I'm probably not going away."



NOTHING...this man is losing me...im losing interest. im losing everything. hours went by and somehow i just forgot to eat lunch. so i went to the cafe as they were about to close and they were OUT of turkey burgers... I REPEAT OUT OF TURKEY BURGERS.....

so then this man gets an email back from me...the "do or die" email. the email that will require a much thought out clever response and if not then im afraid he will be cast aside and here we go:

"im hungry and there are no more turkey burgers left in the world.

ok ok, exagerated i know but thats my lunch and i missed it and now its gone. so i must go find food. im using this email as my own personal online diary (hope you dont mind) about hunger and how theres too much chocolate in the department. I had a mint earlier but its not helping. I have routed out the closest food establishments in my mind but none seem worthy of leaving the building. Theres tacos, sushi, subway, two delis, and this indian place but wheres the turkey burger place....yes, thats right, it does not exist. Does this warrant me a day off as I cant work properly if I have no food. I think it does.

since you have no voice or breath, I will be the voice of the proletariat

-the inez"

and that ends this thursday with no response yet.

Please have a good night my friends...