Tuesday and I'm trying

trying to keep up the esteem levels.

im faced with this one fear which my friends try to convince me is truely not the correct fear and shouldnt be a fear at all. i think that this man is pulling away as a direct result of something i said at breakfast and my reaction to his real age.

simultaneously he has been hit with a MASSIVE dose of reality and hard times not getting a job he wanted more than anything and was totally convinced he had and has now to decide what is next. This plate of reality is possibly consuming him. Possibly the reason he is not capable of giving me the proper dosage of affection that I desire and what will I do about this:

I will just fucking relax and know in my heart that he does like me. He has not started resenting me/hating me. I have to have faith that everything will be ok.
He could be in a rut for a while. this is completely possible. he could be unable to deal with me or my insanity.

betty is gone
that is ok.
elizabeth says that reality HAS to happen. Its important.
i agree

ONE SECOND AT A TIME. ONE FUCKING SECOND AT A TIME.