Lately I have had some trouble putting to words the insanity that my mind has conjured up regarding this giant move to Paris. And NOT the typical Anna Lisa insanity about all my silly observations about boys and people and what not. (notice i separate boys and people as they are not the same).
But it used to be that I would drift off about what life would be like if...
and now there certainly is no "what if" or just "if"....
everything is laid out before me.
And im standing facing it all
but see thats the thing, im standing there starring into this madness and I am PETRIFIED. I'm like a little petri dish thats connected to all kind of circuits and wires thats getting electro-zapped over and over causing little zappings to flow through my entire body.
I get these shocks mostly at nite (of course i hope my fellow readers realize that im not actually getting zapped, just using that as a way to describe anxiety) and in my dreams.
These damn dreams. Every stinkin nite I will dream about something that wreaks of anxiety. Being shot, knifed, running away from something, something i planned going terribly wrong, snakes and sharks eating me, you name it. Of course watching that HBO special about the war victims last night didnt exactly help me to dream pleasantly. lol
And so now, because I have reached the end of my rope, I'm going to purchase tylenol PM and give it a go. Despite the fact that i HATE taking pills. It may be the last hope.
God im SO SICK of explaining myself. I'm so sick of people not getting it. I'm impatient and annoyed. I need to be understoooooooodddddd. haha ok. too much drama? too much anna lisa? look away then...theres nothing to see here.
:):):):)
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