Tuesday, October 23, 2007

What to do when your friends are ignoring you

Hold a fake meeting about them and then send the "accused" friend the minutes of the meeting. Now this particular friend claims to have ruptured his ACL and claimed to have surgery. He also claimed he would move to Paris with me and was goin to stay with me post surgery but he has failed on all accounts thus far and for that he will die:

Agenda
Attendees: Inez Cavavos, Marshal Mathers, Marshall, Diego, Hair, Dr. Gollub, The chick from Costa Rica, Su-Jiang from the back rub place and Caro (who took the minutes).

Caterers - Jean-Georges and Wolfgang

9-9:05pm - Introductions
9:05-9:15 - Review of Abe's misbehavior
9:15-9:20 - Review of detention centers for Abe
9:20-9:25 - snack break
9:25-9:36 - Video of Abe's abuse caught on tape
9:36-9:40 - Closing statements

Minutes: Abe's behavior unacceptable for very long time. Doesn’t answer cell phone calls, reaches out for help then declines any help offered, complete and utter abandonment of friends and false claims of depression and suicidal threats. Selfish and unruley mistreatment of flesh lite and other inanimate objects like pediatricians and tangerine smoothies. Recommend 9-14 years of "friend camp" in northern montana run by two shellfish and a small minor named "hiccup". Video clearly shows Abe not calling back Inez A. Cavavos and ignoring her forever until she is dead on a log in the east river of nowhere. Not too mention in this video Abe is watching a video of Inez weeping hysterically alone crying out for help. His laughter is unacceptable.

Signed - Terribly hurt nurse Cavavos

Some people respond well to sarcasm, Abe is one of these people. So I'm expecting a big ole hug from him any moment. Even if its awkwards cause he's "supposedly" on crutches. Hmph!!

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